Planet, Schmanet, Janet!

We think, she might be a he. I was petting her the other day and I was petting her tummy, my hand slipped a bit too far and I felt...things a female shouldn't have. Which now means, Chubby Checkers was into the boy bunnies. Do you think they would let a bunny join the GSA?

Aaaand, she/he has gotten HUGE. Almost the same size as my cat. Maybe Alligator is pregnant?

I'm so frustrated! A friend of mine, a friend I've known and been best friends with since we were little, has taken back an asshole who was not only the reason we stopped talking for almost five years, but also got her into heavy drunks and drinking AND cheated on her with THREE different people. Now, he's trying to get in good with me and I can't bring myself to tell him to go screw himself, because I'm not willing to lose my friend because of this jerk.
But this isn't the end of it, oh no, her mom in her infinite wisdom (even though she hates him too) has decided the douchebag can move in with them. Oh! Wonderful idea. Now, she's attached to his hip and lying to everyone that they /aren't/ dating. Yeah, that's the reason you won't leave him alone when your friends invite you somewhere. You know, if you're going to lie, at least make it worth something. And I'm sure her reasoning is going to be because she doesn't want to hear us complain about it. Hell yeah I'm going to complain! He used her, repeatedly. He turns her into a completely different person and I'm not sure she's going to make it a year sober with him around. Oh, speaking of that. I have a high doubt that the reason he quite his joke was because his mom was yelling at him. I'm more than certain he quite because of the monthly drug tests.

Fuck it, I'm through caring about her, I can't control her anyway. If she's going to stop caring, I might as well. If she can't learn after the first million times, that's her own fault. But so help me, if we end up rooming together in college, I refuse to let that asshole anywhere near the place or stay the night. I probably won't have to worry about that anyway, she'll probably pull what every other kid at our school with a future does...stay in this two-bit town with the person they think loves them, only to grow into a bitter person.

And no, this isn't jealousy because I 'love her', it's because I know what's going to happen and I know he doesn't really care for her. He's going to do what he's done before, tear her down and keep pulling her back.

ADJFHDFJDF, ignore this. I'm just tense about starting my last year of high school and the prospect that every thing is going to change and there's a chance I might not make it in the real world.

I need some candy and to write that postcard to Chloe. Maybe I'll just make it a letter, a very long, angst filled letter.

Chubby Checkers died. I figured something was up when he wouldn't eat, he hasn't been eating that much since Sunday and today his nose was completely clogged with snot. I wiped it off, but he still wouldn't eat anything. Then when I went upstairs to take my allergy medicine and wash up, my mom started screaming, so I ran downstairs and it turns out he had tried to hop out of his box, because he was bleeding for some reason. There was blood everywhere and when I got over to his box, he was convulsing and spitting out blood, then he just...died.

We think he had a parasite and it wasn't just an ear infection, and that they didn't give us enough medicine to cure him. I think I'm done with pets, I have my Wildcat and Alligator, that's all I need right now.

And I think it might have been a waste of 3.97. When I read the title, 'Six Reasons To Stay A Virgin', I thought it was going to be a story where the girl ends up keeping herself a virgin. Yup, nope. It's disappointing, I was really hoping it'd be a love story where it didn't end in some silly sex scene. I'm hoping 'Tersias the Oracle' will be better and I'm hoping I can pick up a copy of 'Shadowdance' at the library, but neither of the ones here have it. D :

Also, I went ghost hunting with a couple of my friends Sunday and...we ended up in the completely wrong graveyard and in a pretty creepy town. We also had to into the driveway of a house that reminded Megan of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The original), Katie of Jeepers Creepers and myself of The Strangers. Jessica was too busy freaking out about my car almost stalling to notice the creepy house.
Then, this dog walked out in front of my car and it walked around the sides, sniffing everything. We think it was a Devil Dog. Oh and the cemetery we were looking for was 'Circle Cemetery', but we found what we'd like to call 'Rectangle Cemetery'.
And when we finally realized we needed directions, we called this stoner chick that we'd seen earlier at the mall and she was like 'Are you going to Egypt Valley to score coke? It's a really good place to score coke.' I'm sure if we'd said yes, she'd have given us perfect directions. We taped the whole thing, but it was on my VHS camcorder.


By the way, the guy playing Edward in the 'Twilight' movie has a textbook case of panface.

I just tried this new facial scrub my mom got me and...my eyebrow area is on fire.

Also, I haven't been on as much becaues my boy bunny, Chubby Checkers, is really sick. He either has water in his ear or a parasite, but he couldn't stand up and he had his head tilted to the side and he couldn't eat, I had to feed him apple sauce and tomate soup through a dropper thing. He's doing better now, he can stand up and his head only had a bit of a tilt, but he still can't hop that well, for some reason his back legs aren't working that well. He's also eating solids, he was eating pieces of an apple earlier. But he's doing a lot better.
And I was shooting a commercial for that Dibs contest, so again, I'm really sorry.



We had an epic ice cream fight after the shoot (Which I started, like always)

What you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache (2x)

I said my moustache is cool, my moustache be floppin
I’m standing at my mirror, and all the boys keep stoppin

what you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache (2x)

I said my moustache is floppin, my moustache is cool
all da boys keep brushin', they try to shave me after school

Gillete,Clubman, yep cuz I’m worth it
o the way I brush it up so perfect
straighten, the corners of my 'stache so I work it
when I walk down the hallway, they can’t say nothin

o o o my 'stache so luscious
the way I spice it up with the Pinaud, Pinaud brushes
Clubman got them want long Fu Manchu
thats probably the reason all these boys got peach fuzz.


what you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache? (2x)

I said my moustache is cool, my moustache be floppin'
im standin at my mirror, and all the boys keep stoppin

what you kno bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache? (2x)

I said my moustache is floppin', my moustache is cool
all da boys keep brushin', they try to shave me after school

when it’s time for brunch, my moustache still rock
lil Wilford Brimley with the old man top
Handlebar, Walrus, bushyess is a virtue
they lovin moustache universal

the boys really like it, the girls don’t speak
they, rubbin their upper lip, their moustache looks fake
it ain’t my fault, but I can upgrade you
show you how to use nice brushes with nice big 'staches

what you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache (2x)

I said my moustache is cool, my moustache be floppin'
I’m standing at my mirror, and all the boys keep stoppin


what you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache (2x)

I said my moustache is floppin', my moustache is cool
all da boys keep brushin', they try to shave me after school

cuz my moustache is floppin' (is floppin' 4x) (2x)

Brushin' in 8th period, thought I was in trouble
BING! Called me on the loud speaker, on the double

I stepped in the office like “yes miss. Maclarson”
shes like “so ran out of my moustache and...
Write down where you get yours from
cuz I must admit that Fu Manchu, is floppin(3x) she ain’t shavin'

and uh...I be lovin it, I be, I be lovin it
and uh...I be brushin' it, I be, I be brushin' it
and uh...I be growin' it, I be, I be growin' it
on my lips, my lips uh...my moustache

what you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache? (2x)

I said my moustache is cool, my moustache be floppin'
I’m standing at my mirror, and all the boys keep stoppin


what you know bout my 'stache, what cha, what cha know bout my 'stache (2x)

I said my moustache is floppin, my moustache is cool
all da boys keep brushin', they try to shave me after school

It was so bad that Thursday my friend had to elbow me to get me to stop sounding like a broken record, I wonder if they ever get annoyed by it? Oh well, I like it.

ANYWAY, onto that theory I promised to tell you about.
I thought that the rightys would feel less awkward with their right hand dominate and the leftys would feel less awkward with their left hand dominate.
So, let's see if I was right, wrong or something else.

Number of Rightys: 17
Number of Leftys: 6
Ambidextrous: 2

Number of Rightys comfortable with left hand dominate: 11
Number of Rightys comfortable with right hand dominate: 5
Either way: 1
Neither: 0

Number of Leftys comfortable with left hand dominate: 1
Number of Leftys comfortable with right hand dominate: 4
Either way: 0
Neither: 1

Number of Ambidextrous comfortable with left hand dominate: 1
Number of Ambidextrous comfortable with right hand dominate: 1
Either way: 0
Neither: 0

At this point, I need more left handed people to make any kind of decision on that, but...I'm pretty sure my theory was wrong.
Thank you everyone who helped. : D

For this experiment, I shall need a righty and a lefty. You people who can do it both ways...ACCESS DENIED! I jest, you can join in on this. : ]

Now, first I want everyone to lace their fingers together like this, with the right hand dominate:



Think about how that feels, then I want everyone to lace their fingers together like this, with the left hand dominate:



For the tricky part, if you want to, leave me a comment with your hand writingness type(?) and which way felt awkward and which way felt normal for you.

I have a theory about this.

Your 'friends' are changing you, why can't you see this? They're turning you into a mindless zombie, I know you're better than that. What happened to your sense of humor? Right now, I don't even think I can remember why we became friends, all I know is...you're not the person you used to be and it wasn't a change for the better.

Turn back now, I DEMAND IT! D:


P.s. I feel so pathetic lately, I'm reading back on my latest journals and it seems like all I'm doing is being all whiny, BUT I SWEAR I DON'T MEAN IT! I don't know what my problem is. Psha. I think I need a pair of shorty shorts to inspire me.

EARS UP. Listen to this, they charged me on the day I bought a pair of pants, then TODAY (meaning between 12:00 A.M. and 1:30 A.M.) they charged me AGAIN! Also, this is after shipping them.

Now, I was P.O.ed because it made me overdraft for -8 dollars. Then I called and was treated like a liar, they didn't even seem to understand a word I said. We finally came to an agreement and hung up, then when I refreshed it it said I was over drafted -43 dollars and my current balance was -21! I called again and the lady tried to act like it wasn't a big deal! HELLO! I'M GOING TO BE CHARGED 38 DOLLARS ON TOP OF LOSING MY 13 DOLLARS! I think this kind of IS a big deal!

Double billing is ILLEGAL. Don't give me that crap that charging me twice assures the money, YOU ALREADY HAD THE MONEY! You screwed up, admit it. Give me my money back and either pay my overdraft or deal with my bank.

Gosh.

I don't care how people see this, so stop acting like I'm some kind of demon monster beast. I don't like love, I don't want to fall in love and I'm not planning to. It's not because 'Woe is me! I've been heart broken, boohoo', it's because I don't see a use for it. All I need are friends, I don't need a soul mate or a significant other. Stop shoving your thoughts down my throat, I'm not going to date someone just to date them. That's ridiculious. I don't need a relationship to feel good about myself or to feel like I'm needed. I'm happy being single. All I need are my friends, they (almost) never make me feel unwanted or useless.  If some day, I do find someone I love, SO BE IT. It's not your job to act as my matchmaker, I don't care. Can I repeat it, I. DON'T. CARE.

And another thing, don't even TRY to make me feel bad about not leading someone on. Are you jealous that I won't date just anyone? Because the fact that you're acting like I'm a horrible person for making sure they realize we AREN'T going on a date makes it seem that way.

Last time I checked, it's called MY love life because it IS my love life.

/end rant.





P.s. Why would I take any kind of love advice from you, anyway? Aren't you the one who's going back to a guy that cheated ad destroyed you? Yeah, if that's love, I don't want it.

Really, it was amazing how fast they cleaned up the mess. Yes, there are still a few glitches, but that was pretty fast considering it's a Saturday.

You get my thumbs up for it and I hope next weekend you actually get to enjoy the time off.

So, from me to you, thank you for working so hard. Especially since you didn't have to, at least I don't think so, right? Oh well, that's beside the point. Again, thank you.


And for the record, I'm not butt-kissing. xD I just feel bad, it doesn't seem like they get a lot of thanks, just a lot of complaints. It's like your mailperson or garbageperson, have you thanked them lately? Just go on and gimme a big ole' hug!

I went to Denny's after watching a movie (Get Smart. GO WATCH IT!) for a friends birthday celebration. Anyway, our waitress was AMAZING, she gave my friend a free piece of cake and all of us free Rocket Cups! Capitalize that and remember it.
We left her a five dollar tip in change in the shape of a smile face and a sticky note that said 'For the greatest waitress at Denny's' and a bunch of other sticky notes. One telling of how three different waitresses asked us for our drinks after the one had already gotten us.
Then we left secrets in the Post Secret book at our book store, we're going back this month on the 27th to see if it's still there and we're going to share our secrets with each other. Which makes me a tad bit nervous on how they'll react to mine. But I think it will be for the best.

And while we were watching the movie (we were the only ones in the bottom section), I leaned my legs up to rest my knees on the chair in front of me and all you hear it 'RATTLE, BANG, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHIMMY, QUARTER TURN' as everything in my pockets fall out. Then I did it again and somehow, someway, whatever was holding onto my lint for dear life managed to shimmy out and make the loudest noise possible. It sounded like a gun. Then I spent ten minutes after the movie ended picking up my change, my phone, my sunglasses, my sticky notes, my water balloons, my darts and my memory cards.
After that, the girls (Which...was everyone, but me) went into the bathroom and one of them slipped in a puddle of water while they were posting a sticky note of 'Jamison farts...a lot.' It's true, I'm not denying it. But still.

Then when we went out to my car, there was a flyer for some local show and no one else's car had one. Which made me wtf and get scared. Then we left a sticky note on the car beside us that said 'Have A Nice Day : ] '

After that, I was driving through the parking lot (I stopped at each parking spot like you're supposed to, I was a good driver!) and when we came up to a stop sign, I had to park the car and distract the lady in the wheel chair by running around the car, wearing my Amish hat and running to 'Lip gloss'. It worked, she clapped and Megan got that sticky note on the stop sign.

We also bought fake mustaches, one of them is still on my side view mirror of my car. It's pretty darn fun to look into.

Whatcha gonna do with all that bump? All that bump on yoh back?
I'ma let, let, let, let you stack
Let you stack stuff on my hump
My lump, my lump, my lump, my lump, my lump,
My lump, my lump, my lump, my lovely little back humps. (Jiggle it out)

I drives these doctors crazy.
They do it almost daily.
They treat my lumps all lazy
They buy me all these hump-warmers.
Camacrafts and Fredflare
Wists and Etsy
They just be sharin'
All their cozy I be wearin'
Mother I ain't fakein'
they say they love my lumpin'
Backless shirts I be wearin'.
I say 'it's cold', but they keep pushin'
So I keep on wearin'
and no it ain't small
so you can touch my lump, my lump, my lovely back hump.

For Megan! : D
Why yes, I do wonder why my friends hang out with me.

This satanic deer almost ran into my car! It jumped over the first two lines of traffic, over the cement divider and was about a foot from having it's face in my window! Everyone else claims they didn't see it, BUT I KNOW IT WAS THERE! I screamed and sped up, it scampered across the rest of the lanes and into the woods. It was there! I know it was!
I almost peed my pants because of that stupid deer and my moustache fell off.

I find it really awkward talking about this, mostly because no one ever believes me on this. I have depression, it's very severe when my iron is low (but that's how everyone is) or at night, but it's always there. I've had this depression since my brother died, I didn't realize what it was at the time and I simply thought I was just extremely sad that he was gone. I even took to cutting during that time, it was the only thing that  felt I had some control over.

People don't seem to believe me because I don't take medicine for it or seem depressed. I don't cut myself, I gave that up a long time ago and I don't write depressing poetry about how much my life sucks. I've learned to deal with my depression by keeping my mind always on go or sleeping. I still get nightmares and suicidal thoughts in my dreams, but I think it's better to go through it there.

That's the main reason I'm either on the internet or watching TV, it keeps my mind occupied and off of thoughts that I don't want. I like to keep things positive by making other people laugh, it makes me feel like I'm worth something and that I might actually be missed when I make people laugh.

It's so hard for me to write this, I don't want people to read it and not understand it. I've a tough time expressing what I really feel through words.

I have a hard time seeing anything I write or say as being good, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to thinking too much. If I do something, I'll think about it later and just keep telling myself that it could have been better or I should have done this or that or blah blah blah. I'll just keep telling myself that it wasn't good or enough or that I embarassed myself, they just didn't tell me. I used to do it a lot more than I do now, it's even pushed me to attempt suicide.

As bad as it is and as much as I tell people not to, I do bottle up my feelings. I think it's for the best, you see, I have anger problems. I've broke my knuckles before from punching a wall over something as silly as a small fight with my mom, I've punched my dad before when he wouldn't listen to me and I've given myself a bloody lip when I tried to just bite my tongue and stop my violence. I've pulled my own hair out when trying to control myself and not hit someone or something.

I used to be anorexic and bulimic, I think it was only a direct link to the drugs. After I got sober, I finally saw myself and not what the drugs made me think and see. And I finally had control over everything again.

This is probably the hardest thing I've had to open up about...but, when I was younger, about 10 or so...I tried to drowned a kitten I was bathing. I'm not sure why and I'm glad I don't, but it scares me so bad that I could do something like that. I ended up pulling the kitten up and holding it for the rest of the night crying.

I'm sure at this point, everyone thinks I'm a horrible monster. I'm starting to get a bit better though, I'm learning to deal with the depression, I might try to get professional help when I can afford it, but for now I'm dealing with it the best I can. I'm learning to control my temper and learning to not be as violent. It's hard, but I'm hoping I can keep it up.

Well, there it is. It doesn't flow and it's not funny, but it's me.

We know, we're fly.
Megan cut footloose and all she got was a stupid concussion.

SUMMER TIME!

And the dentist didn't give me enough novocaine the first time and he started drilling and I could feel everything. I could feel him hit every nerve, then he asked if I wanted more novocaine because I was squirming and whimpering so much and I said 'YES!'. They ended up giving me so much that I couldn't control my drool or that side of my face, but I could still feel the pain of the drilling. I almost threw up from the pain, then my mom goes and tells me that when I was little, I hated needles so much that I made them drill without anything.

In the end, the lesson is, don't go to the dentist.

I was recently reading an article and the comments that accompanied it, these people were bragging and praising themselves or others for hitting guys when they cheated or lied or didn't listen to them...do you think people would react the same way if the genders were reversed? Why do you think some people are against expanding shelters to men? Do you think it's because we live in a day that still perceives the stereotype that men can't get hurt by a girl? Also, do you think it's wrong if a man open palms a girl if she's hitting him? Do you think it's right for people to say girls can't hurt a guy, even if they are throwing objects?
Maybe it's just me, but I think that even in this day and age, we still believe that women can't hurt men. I know plenty of guys who don't consider it abuse that their girlfriends make them feel bad all the time or hit them constantly. Do you think this is because of the stereotype that men are the only dangerous ones or a lack of teaching to boys what emotional and physical abuse are or something completely different?

I personally can't see myself hitting a girl, simply because I know most girls could kick my butt, but I just don't think I could live with myself if I hit ANYONE. Now, there are times and places for it, but for the most part...I just don't see violence over something like...being late or not listening or something else like that, I just don't see it as right. No matter what gender.

I think that, as a society, we need to realize that girls aren't helpless. I know plenty of girls who could take me down in record time, we need to realize that for most average males, a well placed stiletto is about the same as a punch. And, we need to realize that we are still years behind when it comes to protecting people against spouse abuse. We need to show guys (And girls, of course) that it is alright to leave, to get help. I read a story from a man who was laughed at by the police and turned away by shelters. It took him years to get help because no one believed him.

As a society, we need to grow up and realize that anyone can hurt anyone. No matter the gender, the religion, the race, the hair color or eye color or whatever.

If you know someone who you think is in an abusive relationship or you, yourself, are...get help. Help them get help. Abuse is not love and no one deserves to be treated that way. You deserve someone who really loves you.